my wife. my son. my faith.

today my wife is pregnant with my son.

tomorrow i hope she will be holding him.

fear not. i will be by her side as she undergoes pain verging on death.  i will watch as my wife’s life is fully exposed before god and man.  i will watch and i will not fear.

the god of heaven rendered it good for man and woman to bring forth life.  this is our cooperation with god.  to create as he creates.
a man’s joy is his wife, and his pride his children.  we (men) esteem our women, for their love and courage, for their strength and honor, for their gentleness and ferocity.  god has made it good for man and woman to be together  to fully love and honor one another.

Broken Memories.

broken watch in the dresser drawer

how long will you lay broken

disregarded.

broken watch in the dresser drawer,

covered in shadow

to valuable to trash,

rich with idealistic sentiment;

not valuable enough to do  restore.

 

A Remanent of a Past Life.

 

An icon of the time you no longer observe,

And surely time has passed you by.

 

Stay in the drawer you wretched memory,

Token of the past.

 

Your existence ignites falshoods,

skewing my understanding of what is.

 

Unsettling my emotions.

Broken Watch in the Dresser Drawer.

An Icon of the Time You No Longer Observe,  I cast you away.

Feed My Sheep

To often we are paralyzed by the pragmatic.

We want to go, we want to build, to surplus other.  We see others do great works, and their drive and vision leaves us discouraged.

If your young son wants to begin hunting, you do not buy him a rifle.  You begin small.  A toy bow, a very small pocket knife, his own knife, his own bow, etc.  The wiser the boy becomes, the more you will give him.  Such an economy is proper and true.

If you are looking to cure your paralysis, set aside your lack of creativity and lofty ambitions and instead find something very doable, and do it with excellence.

concerning my grandmother

a castle constructed of ashes
an eastern rush of air
a broken people scattered
scattered like sand and memories

time passes
and passes
and passes

a wanderer devoid of wonder
delivered into darkness at birth
orphaned at his own accord
teeth worn from gnashing

a lady, an angel, a beacon
a foreigner of a different race than men
singing hope like a quiet melody
whispering truth like thunder
eyes that perceived beyond my realm
then she beckoned me come

and i did

January Project Wrap-UP

All my life I have loved to grow and develop.  Physically, spiritually, socially, mentally, all fascets of life.  Traditional models of education frustrate.  While some grown through years of steady constant training, which is awesome, I do not.  I am a product of the add generation.  Traditional education is made to work for the masses, giving each person the same environment, same materials and the same pace; and given the mass amount of need, I understand why.

When I find interest in something, my focus is sharp and my intensity is high, my passion is released.  Life is a marathon, but I am a sprinter.  Therefore, my strategy is to harness my disposition into a series of sprints that drive me towards success.

Train by Fire.

Explosive.  Intense.  Consuming.

It’s finished (in fact it’s been finished); and what a wild ride.  28 days of pounding as many calories as the stomach can handle.

Before I get into the details of the project, I want to talk a little big picture.  I believe it’s incredibly important for one’s overall general health and wholeness to live in a state of good physical fitness.  One thing I’ve noticed is people always covet wealth and health.  Well I don’t have the former, and I don’t really care for it; but the latter is obtainable.  When I am an older man, say in my 50′s, I want to still have the physical ability elicit and celebrate all the fantastic elements of Creation, and I don’t want to do it from a recliner.    Therefore, I make efforts to keep a moderate amount of strength, good lungs, and a healthy heart.  Then comes the January Project.

The January Project actually pushes against the statements made above, but it got trumped for 2 reasons:

1.  I love anything awesome/extreme:  I am obsessed with pushing thigns to their limits, be it my mind, my body, or whatever.  This seemed extreme, unique, difficult, and honestly, like it would tell a good tale afterwards

2.  I love community:  As noted in my other post, friendship is my fuel, and this project afforded us a great experience, rekindled a friendship, and was a lot of fun (sort of).

I gained 18lbs in 28 days by eating a little under 3 months worth of food; and Reece gained 12.

Its kind of difficult to put a post like this up because unlinke Tim Ferris, the inspiration for this project,the process was promoted before proven, so that if it doesn’t work (which in one way it did and in another it), we look like all the more fools.  It worked because both Reece and myself felt like we significatly altered our physical state in a very short period of time, granted some of that was fat, but it was still more strength than I’ve ever gained before.

It failed because of the 18lbs, the pictures testify that a large portion was fat. The more I’ve investigated the dietary process, I’m finding massive errors.  For example. every night in bed, I consumed a massive fruit smoothie consisting of just under a 100o calories, and along with it a 420 calorie protein bar covered in peanut butter and 2 huge tuna melts.  The tuna is awesome, as well as the almonds I put in it and the smoothie.  The peanut butter is not ideal  but the smoothie was a foul choice. The fructose is tough for the body to break down and easy to convert to unneeded fat; and the protein bar was more like chewing on a piece of lard.  C’est la vie.

Mark's Gains

January Project

January Project

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5 People I Admire & 5 Reasons Why

Brad Treas

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  1. His value for his business is driven by his value for his clients
  2. He champions integrity over profit
  3. He’s smart, aggressive, meticulous, and successful
  4. He patiently coaches people through big decisions 
  5. I trust him

Jonathan Willis

  1. He is brilliantly creative
  2. Though he married the healthiest woman I’ve ever met, he still will cram down White Castles
  3. He elicits beauty in the world by displaying the details of the monotonous
  4. He champions entrepreneurship
  5. His dreams are big but his plans are practical

Vladimir Putin

putin

 

  1. He is the embodiment of a nation
  2. He purely discipline
  3. His story is rags to riches
  4. His vision is global
  5. He terrifies me

 

Rich Boehne

 

  1. He restored a fantastic property in the heart of Newport, KY for the sake of restoration 
  2. 8 years after leading my friends and me in a group, he asked me about each guys’ well being by name
  3. He leads a massive corporation but stops in the middle of a busy street to shake your hand
  4. When I was 17,  he taught me to stand by my values; regardless of opposition
  5. He in genuine 

 

Dietrich Mateschitz

 

  1. He abandoned his security for a dream
  2. He is brilliantly innovative
  3. He absolutely refuses to work within the “norm”
  4. He appreciates the extreme  
  5. He is the reason when you walk through a city, you’ll occasionally get a free Red Bull

Christianity, Marijuana, & Morality

Seems like everywhere I go, I’m hearing a debate regarding Christians smoking pot.  The running question is, can a Christian be in a right state with God and actively use marijuana?  Here are some probable responses:

1.  We are told to abide by local governing laws...

2.  We are told to be clear minded

3.  We are not to have the appearance of evil

4.  We are not to make others stumble

Typical Rebuttals:

Points 4 is lidgit but most commonly wielded incorrectly.  The emphasis of this verse is for the protection of the immature believer.  This exhortation is used in regards to activities that the more mature Christian is entitled to engage in, just in a wise appropirate venue (such as the privacy of their own home).  Offending Chrisitains and making a brother sin are not the same.  I think the understanding of making a believer stumble is not thoroughly understood.  If a person comes into Christianity; he is to be trained into a new way of living.  We should be constantly monitoring our lives, asking if we live as disciples of our culture or of Christ; an example of this is to question your spending and consumption.  Is how what you buy in line with the teachings of Christ?  If a new believer spent time around you, its often the subtle  sins that will lead them astray. 

Point 3:  Absolutely!  I’d like to hear peoples thoughts on this

Point 2:  Absolutely again!  I hope as  a whole, we are past the sophomoric arugment if christians can drink booze; there is no strong teaching against it in scritpres; but there are very clear standards of how to engage alcohol as well as everything else and still maintain integrity.  Soberminded, sharp, prepared.  I don’t smoke pot, is it possible to smoke without getting completely blitzed?

Point 1:  Personally, I have a difficult time with this. I attempt to abide by the laws (and if i’m honest, my driving discounts this) because Christ teaches us to do so.  I’m opposed to morality being issued by the government; thus my lending towards the Libertarian ticket.  Regarding the subject at hand, its illegality is absurd compared to other items like alcohol or tobacco.  But such is life.  

All in all, I think the topic is interesting. I’m fascinated with how most all people apply certain moral codes to one thing but not the next.  Morality is a good thing, but in my life, I’m attempting to live by honor and love; both of which will always trump morality.

Discipline.Ideas.Friendship

I am not a disciplined person.  I’m an idea person, and energy person, an extreme person, but not a disciplined one.  I am  driven by ideas. When I find one I like, I’ll obsess over it, revolve my whole life around it, devoting all my being to it’s development.  When I’m there, in that zone, I feel confident in my ability to succeed.  

But I’m still an undisciplined person.  When the idea stops shinning, my energies start dying.  Monotony is the cancer to my soul.  There is a proverb I  hate to love that reads:  He who works will have plenty of food, but he who chases fanatics will have his share of poverty.  My being is bent towards ideas, a great trait, but it is also bent towards chasing the next best thing.

A good offense is a strong defense. There are weak spots in my wall where failure can easily come into my life and destroy me.  As I learn them, I know I must take appropriate steps to fortify my permiter.  

I lost my excitement for the January Project within the first four days.  There have been spurts now and then, like when you blow on a pile of embers, they reignite, but the real fuel is gone.  This came as no suprise at all.  My solution:  JReece. There is another proverb that reads:  a chord  of three is not easily broken.  A greater force in me than ‘big ideas’ is companionship.  I knew that my going into a project that would be very difficult  by myself would result in certain failure, but with a friend it would necessitate certain dependency; which grows comradity, which gives me massive amounts of motivation.  If I have  a friend with me, bought in as deeply, to share the struggles and the wealth, I will push myself as far as possible, because shared gain is the greatest gain.